She's JV to your varsity
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
