Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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