kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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