PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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