My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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