All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
