508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Randomize
