I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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