i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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