my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Randomize