Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
