i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
