and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
