We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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