ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
