I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
