why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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