Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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