You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
