The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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