I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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