you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
