dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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