I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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