Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
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giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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