Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
