we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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