; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
