think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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