Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
