two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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