I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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