He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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