Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.