Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
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tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.