John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
