girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
