he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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