Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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