he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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