That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
