at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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