dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
