Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize