her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
and i looked up. we had an audience...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
