In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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