I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
