remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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