your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you win again, gameday.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
