I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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