I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
