Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
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I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.