Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy. http://tfl.nu/hg9j
  Replies (81) Good night (2032) Bad night (5055)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns. http://tfl.nu/zzio
  Replies (33) Good night (1193) Bad night (3257)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it. http://tfl.nu/atu5
  Replies (16) Good night (5810) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield. http://tfl.nu/furb
  Replies (29) Good night (11530) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL? http://tfl.nu/2onf
  Replies (17) Good night (5173) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed http://tfl.nu/wcfq
  Replies (26) Good night (4316) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives http://tfl.nu/kcvk
  Replies (13) Good night (4701) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me http://tfl.nu/8yrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1786) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero. http://tfl.nu/wa7o
  Replies (17) Good night (5020) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/drjd
  Replies (6) Good night (1050) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar http://tfl.nu/zhfq
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with. http://tfl.nu/2qkg
  Replies (4) Good night (798) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): I bet his dick wears a tuxedo. http://tfl.nu/b7e4
  Replies (6) Good night (1009) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA. http://tfl.nu/2xdx
  Replies (8) Good night (427) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue http://tfl.nu/hgnj
  Replies (10) Good night (529) Bad night (232)

Randomize