Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk. http://tfl.nu/x11o
  Replies (3) Good night (764) Bad night (1997)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days! (1-440): I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!! http://tfl.nu/v3m4
  Replies (80) Good night (1163) Bad night (3923)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis http://tfl.nu/4nxt
  Replies (22) Good night (3799) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant. http://tfl.nu/vzqd
  Replies (8) Good night (3548) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  safety first

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle (612): safety first http://tfl.nu/lbuo
  Replies (32) Good night (5398) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush. http://tfl.nu/l70n
  Replies (16) Good night (6817) Bad night (2297)
• Favorite

  (+34): View more from Spain

  what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+34): what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30 http://tfl.nu/zswr
  Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (3962)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday? http://tfl.nu/6s83
  Replies (1) Good night (1044) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down. http://tfl.nu/rocj
  Replies (4) Good night (1727) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I like the way you think.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming. (1-303): I like the way you think. http://tfl.nu/s14n
  Replies (6) Good night (1680) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (283): View more from Ohio

  by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (283): by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours? http://tfl.nu/2a7f
  Replies (6) Good night (1890) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'. http://tfl.nu/va9k
  Replies (8) Good night (1462) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes. http://tfl.nu/v9h7
  Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far. http://tfl.nu/dhez
  Replies (4) Good night (530) Bad night (207)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits." http://tfl.nu/82c3
  Replies (6) Good night (686) Bad night (178)

Randomize