Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

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  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (882) Bad night (2741)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.

  (1-805): View more from California

  You do realize that you broke up with him, right?

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  (805): I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose. (1-805): You do realize that you broke up with him, right? http://tfl.nu/4u3s
  Replies (5) Good night (665) Bad night (2750)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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  (604): Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating. http://tfl.nu/sjit
  Replies (35) Good night (13827) Bad night (1259)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.

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  (503): if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up. http://tfl.nu/w9vg
  Replies (26) Good night (1328) Bad night (6770)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.

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  (940): we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts. http://tfl.nu/rlkg
  Replies (64) Good night (1654) Bad night (4425)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.

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  (469): Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels. http://tfl.nu/rynp
  Replies (10) Good night (5425) Bad night (1333)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
  Replies (17) Good night (1364) Bad night (4317)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??

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  (314): DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT?? http://tfl.nu/2vmn
  Replies (13) Good night (6006) Bad night (1967)
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  (818): View more from California

  I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

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  (818): I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot. http://tfl.nu/6tih
  Replies (5) Good night (5911) Bad night (1639)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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  (269): just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/lbx2
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (1380)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load

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  (317): There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load http://tfl.nu/2y1d
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (569)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast

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  (514): Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast http://tfl.nu/7alw
  Replies (3) Good night (996) Bad night (324)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.

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  (206): steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill. http://tfl.nu/2ixz
  Replies (1) Good night (734) Bad night (341)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.

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  (724): I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever. http://tfl.nu/5x63
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.

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  (314): I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up. http://tfl.nu/eojw
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (299)

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