I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Still dying that you shit outside
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."