Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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