she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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