I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
