Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
