We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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